When I was growing up I knew a man who every summer like clock work would get his panties in a royal bunch as the dandelions in his yard popped up all over the place..Each week before he would mow the lawn (with his shirt off, tummy hangin over the top of his pants and some odd growth on his backI think we named that thing) he would send one of his kids out to DIG UP DANDELIONS!!!!! I never understood himhonestly. THEY WERE JUST YELLOW FLOWERS!!!!!
A few years ago I had to take a real good look at myself, at my life, at WHO I really was. I had to examine how I got there and if I would be satisfied with living like this for the rest of my future. As I did my self evaluation.I found these things, behaviors, mindsets, attitudes, weird quirks that popped up over and over again. They seemed harmless enough, much like the dandelionsthat is until I saw how they choked the life out of other areas of my being. I figured it would be easy enough to take care of.so I got out my spiritual lawn mower and went to town blazing over those things until there was no sight of them. I patted myself on the back for a job well done and felt ready to face my future.
It wasnt too long before I saw them poppin up all over the place again. I was CORN-fusedhow could this be? I got rid of them I cut off their stupid little heads and NOW THEY WERE BACK!!! I did what anyone would do.I got out my mower again.I barrelled over those bad boys with a determination that could have gotten me to the top of Everest.
Freakin crap!!! What is happening??? why do those things keep coming back? Again and again I cut them down, only for them to reappear.I am pissed. I mean really pissed. Its not like I wasnt willing to put out the effort, clearly I was. Its also not true that I wasnt determined.I was. SO WHAT KEPT GOING WRONG???
It wasnt until I had exhausted myself and even some close friends who were more than happy to mow with me or even FOR me when I couldnt anymore, that I realized I wasnt seeing the whole picture. I neglected to see that the problem ran much deeper than what I saw on the surface. What I SAW, the behaviors, the attitudes, the cycles.they were only the symptoms, the fun yellow flowers.the problem was buried much deeper, down in the depths of my being. I began to see roots..
Roots. ROOTS. ROOOOOOOOTS!!!!! I felt pretty stupid, and flashed back to the neighbor guy with the growths (in his yard and on his back) .as anal as he was, as ridiculous as I perceived his digging to be.that guy understood something I didnt. He knew the only way to TRULY be free of those pesky plants (which he knew would choke out his very nice and luscious green grass) was to remove the ROOTS.
Root canal. These are two words that upon hearing them, a shudder of UGH permeates my being. I have never had one, but I have heard all the horror stories.for dental work, it sounds like the equivalent of childbirth. And much like childbirth, people share their root canal stories like war heroes. Our teeth are present in our mouths even before our birth.(buds anyway). I think some of the roots that cause the popping up of negative behaviors, insecurities and attitudes of failure are very much the same. I believe even before we are born the predisposition for such things are like little tooth buds, waiting to sprout in our lives. I dont believe its a matter of mere genetics.more a heritage issue. (I dont have time to explain the difference, but feel free to ask me sometime what I am talking about). And much like milk is a form or nourishment to the teeth, the environment we are brought up in, circumstances, victimization, even the failures of others like our parents.become the nourishment needed to strengthen theses roots in us. It may be years before we see any flowers or evidences of their existencebut they are there. And they are growing and getting stronger.
Oh, look one just popped up!!! Did you see that? You know that thing you do EVERYTIME you get in a relationship.or when the bills come..or when you cant figure out the solution to a problem.or find yourself alone
I guess ignoring it is worth a trymaybe theres a chance its just harmless, and it really wont hurt anyone..(sensing the sarcasm?) go ahead, mow over itget all determined and gung-ho.make a new years resolution.it WILL just come back. when you are exhausted.when you are sick of mowing, sick of feeling the life choked out of you, your relationships, your family, the job that you once loved..consider a root canal.
I am sure the process is a little different for each of us.but I can bet there are some universal procedures that can be applied too. Im a God-loveryea, shocked arent you.for me, the only thing that made sense was to consult with the One who knew me better than I even knew myself. The One who was there as those roots were being nourished, the One with a big enough shovel and gentle enough hand to be trusted to plunge into my depths and begin a process that I couldnt handle alone. Did it hurt??? Ummmmm.yea!! I think the hardest part was seeingIi mean really seeing what was IN me. It also killed my pride to see how foolishly I had lived, and for so long.there was this knowledge of all the things I had done, the relationships I had killed, the self-induced misery I had endured out of ignorance.and when it got real real painful.all I knew to do was hold on tightly to the only One who could promise to do a thorough enough job that I wouldnt have to live in fear of these plants popping up again and again. Ignorance on some occasions is bliss.especially when the truth is so uglybut knowledge is POWER.
Probably like having a root canal inspires us to have better oral hygeineor childbirth urges us (ok, so I am a glutton) to use contraceptivesa spiritual root canal causes us to be on guard for even the smallest seeds that could potentially grow into something that will need dug up again in the future. Or be left to choke out the life we truly desire to live.