Rusty, our 8 pound long-haired-Chihuahua, has an issue. Well several…the fact that he looks like a rodent isn’t a huge plus, but I guess that’s besides the point. For some reason, unbeknownst to me, he has made it his business to mark his territory on plastic grocery bags. Yes my friends that means every time he sees a plastic bag he lifts his leg and pisses on it!
Now, you say ”this behavior seems easy enough to deter…don’t leave bags or things in bags on the floor”. Ahhhh yes, why didn’t I think of that? Oh yea, I DID! And for the last several months I have gone out of my way to be sure I haven’t left any targets for Rusty’s midnight pee-shooting competitions.
Guess what? In spite of my extra efforts, Rusty’s disdain for the grocery bag has increased and is compelling him to new and unhealthy levels of determination. I think he believes they are…THE ENEMY (bom bom bom). I realized a few weeks ago that if I shook a plastic bag, Rusty would run out of the room with his tail tucked into his bladder. It’s made for some fun times of “Chase the Scared Dog with a Grocery Bag”. Parker Brothers are sure to steal my idea and market it in their next ”Family Game Night Campaign”. In the meantime, you are all welcome to come on over and join in the festivities for free.
Now, back to the point. Maybe all of the Christmas Carols on the radio have finally put me over the edge. All I know was when I woke to find a plastic bag ON MY KITCHEN TABLE had been baptized in Chihuahua whiz something snapped. And of course, as soon as Rusty heard the rustling sound of the wet bag, he took off running toward the living room, tucked tail tickling his tonsils all the way.
The desire to chase him with the bag or use him as a squeegee, though usually rather appealing and therapeutic, just wouldn’t cut it today. The evil laugh that schizophrenics claim to hear, bellowed as I began exacting punishment. A few snips and ties and clips…that would teach him! I have learned from personal experience that shame and humiliation are the most effective punishments one can suffer. In case this didn’t do the trick, I am lining the kitchen table with plastic bags tonight before bed.
A humiliated Rusty in his petroleum mane. Whos the king now Rusty?!????!!!