The Sometimes Less Than Flattering Parallels Between Christianity and Mental Illness

Published on Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Schizophrenia- is a mental disorder that makes it difficult to...

Ok, now lets have a little fun.

  • Tell the difference between real and unreal experiences and to think logically
    Christianity at its very core is to believe in a God who cannot be seen. Others have taken this experience even further and actually claim to hear from God personally. (More on this soon)
  • Have normal emotional responses 
    In most Sunday morning services there are people whose lives are crumbling around them, yet they paste on smiles, shake hands and kiss babies as if all were well. Obviously, they dont give prescription pads to high school drop-outs, so my diagnosis is less than expertise, but this seems like a clear case of difficulty in having normal emotional responses.
  • Behave normally in social situations 
    I would also like to make the observation that Christians have somehow thought it normal behavior to stand on street corners with bullhorns screaming curses and threats, in the name of their invisible God. All of this taking place while their minions chase people around with pieces of paper reiterating the spews in writing.

As the illness continues PSYCHOTIC symptoms occur

  • An appearance or mood that shows no emotion (flat affect) 
    Ever sit in a on a long service? Look around, its all there. Some guy is ranting on about how great their invisible God is. Sharing supposed documented miracles of this Gods goodness and loveand NOTHING!
  • Bizarre motor behavior in which there is less reaction to the environment (catatonic behavior) 
    Slain in the spirit, need I say more?
  • False beliefs or thoughts that have nothing to do with reality (delusions) 
    See invisible God stuff aboveor listen to some Joel Olsteen while on hold with your bankruptcy lawyer.
  • Hearing, seeing, or feeling things that are not there (hallucinations) 
    Apparently while I was a single mom, God did a lot of talking to a lot of guys. In a three year period of time THREE men told me that theyd heard from the Lord that I was their wife. Another was pitched to me by a pastor and his wife telling me we know hes your husband and you are going to miss the Lords will. The Lord didnt seem to relay ANY of these messages to me. In fact, the voices in my head, that I too named the Lord kept pointing me to some red-head who didnt want anything to do with me. Throw in some angel sightings, the sensation of warmth during a healing or cold when demons are near.I dont know guys, this is not looking good.
  • Thoughts jump between unrelated topics (disordered thinking) 
    Ummmmever heard a sermon?

Lets move on to the more particular types of Schizophrenia. rubbing my hands in anticipation

Catatonic type:

  • Negative feelings 
    this one just makes me giggle. the music is too loud, the floors are dirty, the pastor didnt say hi, i left the last place because Nope, none of that going on in Christianity.

Paranoid type:

  • Delusions of persecution or grandeur 
    Things that do NOT constitute persecution, but are perceived as such Christmas Sale sign at the Bon Ton now reads Holiday Sale. There is no prayer in schoolthey arent practicing Wicca, black magic or performing satanic rituals either. Ok, well nobody really knows the source of the cafeteria mystery meat, but theres also no video footage of the hairnets dancing around it beforehand. Grandeur can be witnessed at conferences and feel good services when everyone is told you have a great destinyyou are part of Gods planif you were the only one on earth, Jesus would have still died, JUST FOR YOU.

Disorganized type: (Possibly my favorite)

  • Inappropriate laughter 
    I think they call this one drunk in the spirit or some supernatural Joy of the Lord thing
  • Repetitive behaviors 
    Build a big building, invite a bunch of people, sing a few songs, listen to a sermon (see above) go home and repeaton almost every street corner in every city in the country and with the mission of covering the globe with this process. While this has been repeating for, again high school drop out, not scholar, I dont know, thousands of yearsand with what results? If the process is worth repeating, why arent there results?
  • Social withdrawal 
    Don't hang out with those people, stay with the like-mindeds, they are the safe people. And dont go to those places, you dont want anyone to see you there! We send our kids to Christian school to protect them and then its off to Christian college so the world cant rub off on them.

All of this to say I will let that up to the voices in your heads.