So heres the story. I am sitting at my desk at like 10am. All of my employees have off today so the office is slow and I am keeping busy until Rick and I have our Subway sandwich holiday lunch. I hop on here to check on my bloglike its gone somewhere or done something it shouldnt have. I click on my post and then at the top of the page is the "Next Blog" link. I figured out yesterday that it would take me to another bloggers page and I could read their material. I skim a few family pages, mostly updates to out of state relatives. Then I come across a person whod gone skydiving and was telling of her experience. Next, a girl who in great detail writes of being spanked by her boyfriend for her birthday. Now, in my defense, she was talking about food and slow dancing, then progressed or digressed from there. By the fourth spanking I get the picture and I move on. I did also notice her advertisements, which are an option for all bloggers, were seductive and a bit embarrassing.
I click the "Next" button again and what do I get this time? NAKED ASIAN WOMAN! No joke buddies. She was ALL out. Now, lets remember I am IN THE OFFICE! Not that I would have paused even a second longer if I werent, but now my naked rice eating friend is exposing herself at my job! I click "Next" again, just to get away from her and there is "Married Slave"a NAKED MAN! Now, I am scrambling to just hit a button that takes me back to my blog where I am safe. DASHBOARD!!!! There is really nothing especially comforting about a dashboard. In fact as a child, before the days of car seats and safety belts, I specifically remember slamming my face into one while on a drive with my mom. I was so happy to see my dashboard.
All of this to say, scan blogs at your own risk. And hubby, you dont scan blogs at all. I am officially your favorite and ONLY blogging experience.
This brings me to another rant. Recently, our family has been renting movies. This isnt something we did much when I was a single mom, so I am a bit out of touch. One trip to Blockbuster and it doesnt take a genius to see that naked women are a pretty big deal. Now, thats fine if you WANT to see naked women every time you watch a movie, but menot so much. And if you are in the category of DO, I have a few points to ponder with you.
Are you married? Does your spouse feel disrespected in any way by your viewing choices? Have you ever asked? Does seeing someone other than your spouse undressed cause you to be discontent with your spouses body?
Do you have religious or moral convictions that would make viewing a pornography or going to a strip club inappropriate? What is the difference? If you know a movie has nudity in it, brief as it may be, can you really say you "didnt TRY to see it" if you still go to the theatre or rent it?
*Quick story, once a mom had specifically told her kids they were not allowed to eat candy in their bedrooms. One day, she thought they were being especially quiet, she crept up the stairs, threw open the door to find them eating candy. The one daughter chucked her lollipop across the room and stared at her with an innocent look. When she asked the daughter if shed been eating a lollipop, she replied sheepishly "My tongue fell on it". *
Next question, do you or have you ever struggled with a porn addiction and are trying to get free? Ok, lets me be real frankDUMB ASS! DUMB ASS! DUMB ASS! (See "a spades a spade disclaimer" above) Recovering alcoholics shouldnt take sips, ex-smokers shouldnt take a drag and struggling former porn addicts shouldnt take peeks!
Whats my motive? As a woman and a wife, I wouldnt feel overly respected by my husband for viewing, even briefly, another womans naked body. I will also confess, that nakedness, be it of a man or a woman can and has caused me to stumble. By age 13 I was viewing porn on an almost daily basis. I have a responsibility to myself to guard my eyes and heart. And I am a mom. I dont ever want some nasty ass hog looking at one of my girls like a piece of meat, even if its just for a minute.
In addition to my personal reason, I mentor and counsel people. I cannot begin to count the number of wives I have seen with broken hearts over this matter. Now, society seems to send a message to women that says if you have a problem with naked women, its because you are weak and insecure. And in some ways, even ANTI-WOMAN! If women have a problem with other womens freedom, then we are oppressive. However, its never flipped to say that the "free" woman are oppressing women too. Most of the focus stays on the you are not woman enough yourself to handle this. Which is why in the "are you married section", I asked if you have ever asked your spouse/wife. Shes not really supposed to impose her "weakness" on you, so I encourage you, have the courtesy to offer.
I have also counseled or played a role of accountability to men; young, old, married, single, hetero-sexual and gay. Many of these men struggled with images that had made their way into their minds, usually through viewing, but even sometimes through acting out on them at other times in their lives. Each of them expressed a desire to be set free. One man, whose heart was a pure a gold confessed "I love my wife, but I struggle with lust, I dont look at porn anymore, but the problem is not going away." When questioned about his daily habits, it turned out that many evenings and almost every weekend was spent watching movies. While none of them would have been rated as pornographic , he was exposing his mind to images that crippled him in his fight to love and respect his wife as HE desired and she deserved.
Unless you subscribe to a moral or religious absolute, it would be difficult for me, or anyone else to create a square and tell you to stay in it. So, for you I say respect anyone you love and respect yourself. Its never respect if someone is in unnecessary pain or being caused to fail. If you do subscribe to a moral or religious code of conductfollow it! Figure out what it really is that you believe and do that. In addition to respecting those you love, respect yourself by actually living what you say you believe.
In closing, if you struggle with lust or addiction of some sort, reach out! If you are in a relationship, have the talk and be honest with yourself. If you want a great resource to help you choose your movie and TV content www.imdb.com Know yourself. Know what is good for you and continually examine and re-examine your choices. Know that what is ok for everyone else may hurt you and your family. Dont be afraid to do whats healthy for you.
And, dont bother to invite us over or out to a movie unless you have respected my family, no matter what yours does.
I am off to douche my brain, I have some naked people to get rid of.